Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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