I will die if light touches me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
