You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
