I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
