tequila makes me forget i have legs
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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