I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
