Im at strip club and am horny
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
