you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
