I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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