Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
