You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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