A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
