You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
