I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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