Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pants are for mortals
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