He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
