My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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