i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
