I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
