but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
