so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
