Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
