I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
