If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize