oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize