is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
