Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
