I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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