Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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