It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize