his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
