You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
