just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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