dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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