i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
