What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
