All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
