Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
