OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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