I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
