wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
