I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
