He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
