It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
