I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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