how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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