I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
