Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
