Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize