I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize