you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
