Porn is love you can see.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
