She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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