I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
