Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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