If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
