girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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