Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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