Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
